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Matches

Date	Opponent	Score	Casualties	Fans	Season	Confirmed
07-24-2010	Screamin Serafems	1 - 3	1 - 1	23,000	Season 6	Yes
Winnings: 60,000 Inducements: 0 Player Kebechsenef(2) CAS: 1 MVP: 1 Takes Skill(s): Juggernaut Player Grauballe Man(7) CMP: 1 Player Tollund Man(8) TD: 1 Player Lumbar(10) Injury: Badly Hurt Spiraling Expenses: 10,000 Team Value: 1,870,000 Treasury: 140,000 Fan Factor stayed same at 4 Hired Duamutef II(1) in position Mummy for 110,000 Treasury after purchases is 30,000 New Team Value: 1,980,000 Final Team Treasury: 30,000

Date	Opponent	Score	Casualties	Fans	Season	Confirmed
05-31-2010	The Shooting Starbucks	0 - 1	1 - 2	4,000	Season 6	No
Winnings: 80,000 Inducements: 0 Player Duamutef(1) Injury: Dead Player Imsety(4) CAS: 1 Player Lumbar(10) Injury: Badly Hurt Spiraling Expenses: 10,000 Team Value: 1,850,000 Treasury: 90,000 Fan Factor stayed same at 4 Treasury after purchases is 90,000 New Team Value: 1,850,000 Final Team Treasury: 90,000

Date	Opponent	Score	Casualties	Fans	Season	Confirmed
05-29-2010	Steeltown Stompers	0 - 1	0 - 0	4,000	Dungeon Bowl 10	Yes
Winnings: 80,000 Inducements: 0 Player Hapi(3) MVP: 1 Spiraling Expenses: 20,000 Team Value: 1,910,000 Treasury: 190,000 Fan Factor stayed same at 4 Purchased 1 rerolls for 140,000 Hired Maxilla(16) in position Skeleton for 30,000 Treasury after purchases is 20,000 New Team Value: 2,010,000 Final Team Treasury: 20,000

Date	Opponent	Score	Casualties	Fans	Season	Confirmed
02-20-2010	Dark Blessings	2 - 0	0 - 0	4,000	Season 5	Yes
Winnings: 20,000 Inducements: 0 Player Kebechsenef(2) TD: 1 MVP: 1 Player Grauballe Man(7) TD: 1 Takes Skill(s): Leader Spiraling Expenses: 20,000 Team Value: 1,910,000 Treasury: 130,000 Fan Factor stayed same at 4 Treasury after purchases is 130,000 New Team Value: 1,910,000 Final Team Treasury: 130,000 ***** Fans were dissapoiinted when the Dark Blessing failed to show for the scheduled match against the raising Khemri.  “We were really looking forward to matching up against the Caos squad for the first time.”

Date	Opponent	Score	Casualties	Fans	Season	Confirmed
02-13-2010	The Shooting Starbucks	2 - 2	4 - 1	32,000	Season 5	Yes
Winnings: 70,000 Inducements: 0 Player Kebechsenef(2) CAS: 1 MVP: 1 Takes Skill(s): Grab Player Hapi(3) CAS: 1 Takes Skill(s): Grab Player Imsety(4) CAS: 1 Player Lon Chaney(6) TD: 1 Takes Skill(s): Sure Hands Player Grauballe Man(7) CMP: 1 Injury: Badly Hurt Player Tollund Man(8) TD: 1 Takes Skill(s): Dump-Off Player Parietal(12) CAS: 1 Spiraling Expenses: 10,000 Team Value: 1,890,000 Treasury: 130,000 Fan Factor stayed same at 4 Treasury after purchases is 130,000 New Team Value: 1,890,000 Final Team Treasury: 130,000 ***** Valentine’s Day celebrates St Valentine, a human martyr that believed in Life and Love.  Blood Bowl is a celebration of grit and determination in the face of overwhelming odds.  It is the modern gladiatorial arena for the release of the primal rage of the masses and an acceptable outlet for the testoterone that was once so important to the neandrothal heratige from which we were born.  Whenever so much unbridaled passion is released by a large number of fans on either side of an idiological divide there is sure to be conflict.  One such conflict between two fans, resulted in a massive brawl before the start of one such Blood Bowl match on the eve of this year’s Valentines Day Celebration at the Field House.  While most of the world was celebrating love and harmony, preparing to eat chocolates and buying last minute gifts for their loved ones, thousands of fans for both the Oath Breakers and the Shooting Starbucks were expressing their passion in a quite different way. Unnecessary heckling and name calling was a factor throughout the event and almost caused a second riot to explode when fans began throwing seat cushions onto the field near the end of half-time.  The comfortable and quite fashionable cushions were given out to the first 25K fans as a promotional event sponsored by Dick Buttkiss Sporting Goods.  Unfortunately petroleum prices have caused the use of petroleum based foam to skyrocket in recent months and these cushions were little more than leather covered stones contoured to the average shape of the derrier.  Although no injuries were reported, members of both teams were knocked down by these posterior shaped projectiles before the field was cleared and play could resume.  Members of the new Oath Breaker cheering squad “The Undertakers Revolution” which was hired straight out of a local tavern last week to help promote the club may have helped further incited the crowd as they danced and cheered throughout the game.  Although no more of the cheeky frisbee’s were thrown, verbal projectiles continued to assail the self esteem of the Starbucks throughout the second half and may have further played a role in the final outcome of the game.  Starbucks blitzer Hop Rodgers thinks so, “What they were saying, the fans, just wasn’t right man.  My teammates and I come out here and try our best every game and we shouldn’t have to put up with all that.  Yeah it can be distracting and really get in your head when you hear it night after night.” League officials will surly be reviewing the events that led to this riot.  Rumor has it that fans on both sides were name-calling during the pre-game taligating parties and taunting one another.  Psycologists and many hairdressors agree and have often noted the connection between self-esteem and success.  One wonders when the league will finally respond and enact new stricter rules to cutail these types of displays of team pride which have been showing up more frequently of late which are sure to denegrate the self esteem of the opposing team and their fans.

Date	Opponent	Score	Casualties	Fans	Season	Confirmed
02-06-2010	Steeltown Stompers	1 - 2	3 - 1	26,000	Season 5	Yes
Winnings: 20,000 Inducements: 0 Player Hapi(3) CAS: 1 Player Imsety(4) CAS: 1 Player Boris Karloff(5) Injury: Badly Hurt Player Grauballe Man(7) MVP: 1 Player Lumbar(10) TD: 1 Player Scapula(11) CAS: 1 Spiraling Expenses: 0 Team Value: 1,710,000 Treasury: 200,000 Fan Factor went down to 4 Purchased 10 Cheerleaders for 100,000 Hired Xiphoid(15) in position Skeleton for 30,000 Treasury after purchases is 70,000 Retired Maxilla(12) to coaching staff New Team Value: 1,800,000 Final Team Treasury: 70,000 ***** Twenty-six thousand fans were in an uproar at the Steele-mill this week as they cheered the battle between the Khemri Oath Breakers and the hometeam Steeltown Stompers.  It probably didn’t hurt that the Khemri squad visited a local tavern the night before however and hired several dancers and their friends to help the otherwise non-existant cheerleading squad by performing at the match.  In an effort to stem their spiralling fan factor after the game the GM announced during his post-game news conference, “These lovely ladies did such a nice job today that they have all been offered full contracts to follow the team and form a real cheering squad.  I am told that they have foresworn all their former oaths and from now on they will wear the grey and black of the OB.  Please help me welceome the ‘Undertakers Revolution!’” The fans did play a huge roll in today’s game but, not even when one fan got into the game a little more than most could they change the outcome of the game.  Three quarters of the way through the first half, #87 Shamus the law Murphy broke away and attempted to score a TD.  The young goblin [name redacted] ran out onto the pitch invading the field and attempted to stop the Stomper drive all by himself.  Even that wasn’t enough to stop Gavin’s drive however and the Stompers took a 1-0 lead into half-time.  Coach Parson stated after the game, “All the cheering fans in the stadium can’t win the game for anyone on their own.  As they say, ‘that’s why we play the game.’” After a quick snap to start the second half #37 Axel “Short Fuse” Flynn put the game out of reach when he scored after only two more periods on a sweet bit of footwork and a couple of well timed blocks.  The OB were not to be shut out however as Skeleton Blocker Lumbar put his back into a drive and went for it all late in the second half as well. In addition to the cheering fans, today’s game was charactorized by hard hitting both early and late.  The Oath Breaker’s #8 Tollund Man was knocked out for much of the first half and #3 Imsety gave The Stomper’s blitzer Gavin Green a serious injury in retaliation.  Later in the second half #10 Tim “Iceman” Zorn hurt #5 Boris Karloff badly enough to keep him out of the remainder of the game.  But the OB saved their biggest hit for last as a crafty wizard in the stands cast a minor spell to give the Khemri mummy Duamutef an extra boost of strength.  A perfect defense and a quick turnover allowed the mummies to line up for the OB’s last play against the face of the stompers #50 Milton “Milt” Oglethorpe. Duamutef took a three dice opportunity to make up for all those light hitting games of push and shove that have characterized much of the team’s recent past. In other news, the OB have officially removed skeleton lineman Maxilla to the coaching staff after nearly two seasons on the deep bench.  Fans of the OB will recall that Maxilla received a niggling injury to the knee during the Chaos Cup loss to the Killa Khanz.  “That balky knee just wouldn’t go for me during practice this week so I spoke to coach Parson and we decided that I could help the team more by focusing on coaching instead of further rehab.” Maxilla will be replaced by rookie linebacker #15 Xiphoid.

Date	Opponent	Score	Casualties	Fans	Season	Confirmed
01-29-2010	Grandpa's Guitar Stand	1 - 1	1 - 1	13,000	Season 5	Yes
Winnings: 80,000 Inducements: 0 Player Hapi(3) CAS: 1 Player Imsety(4) MVP: 1 Player Lon Chaney(6) TD: 1 Player Grauballe Man(7) CMP: 1 Player Mandible(14) Injury: Badly Hurt Spiraling Expenses: 0 Team Value: 1,710,000 Treasury: 180,000 Fan Factor stayed same at 5 Treasury after purchases is 180,000 New Team Value: 1,710,000 Final Team Treasury: 180,000*** Date changed from 2010-01-30 to 2010-01-29 ***** It was another perfect night for Blood Bowl at the Field House this Friday night.  Good Karma was in the air as Grandpas Guitar Stand put in some extra team training time preparing for this showdown with the mighty Oath Breakers.  Grandpas Stand is a new addition this year to the Blood Bowl circuit managed by his airness coach Jordan. For the second night in a row the Khemri jumped out to an early lead and looked to be in complee control throughout most of the match until a poor choice of blocks by vetern Lon Chaney on the 1 yard line resulted in a turnover and the only opportunity Grandpas Stand would need to pull out the tie in the final seconds of the game. Lon Chaney was in the center of much the action tonight sacking the opposing QB deep in his own territory during the second period of the first half.  On that play the bouncing ball slipped through Mr. Chaneys boney fingers but not so far away that he was still able to pick up the loose ball and walk it into the endzone for the first goal of the game.  During the third period of the second half Lon was once again in the middle of all the action when he picked up another loose ball and ran to the 1 yard line before being taken down by Grandpas #8 Festoon.  Festoon apparently hit Lon pretty hard too because Lon immediately got back up and tried to hit him back in a poorly timed rebutal.  Unfortunately the intended block landed wide of its intended target and Lon was down for the count allowing Festoon the freedom to run away with the game so to speak. “Heck no I don’t blame Lon or any other member of this squad for our failure to pull out the victory tonight.  I would absolutely challenge anyone who says otherwise,” stated coach Parson during his usual post game interview session.  When questioned further the outspoken coach of the Khemri grew somewhat heated with reporters, “We’ve all made poor decisions in life at one time or another, some of those choices will undoubtedly appear to be magnified more than others because of the field they happen be played out on.  But who the **** do you think you are to make a statement like that?  I know your mother son and you made some pretty bonehead decisions in your day.  I know that Lon and every member of this team absolutely takes this job seriously and is committed to doing his very best every night out there on that field.  The biggest mistakes out there tonight were made by the coaching staff and me mostly, for not lining up enough support for Lon.  I take full responsibility for the decisions we made but they were abviously mistakes as they did not put us in a position to win this game.”

Date	Opponent	Score	Casualties	Fans	Season	Confirmed
01-23-2010	Storm Of Mjolnir	1 - 3	3 - 5	22,000	Season 5	Yes
Winnings: 60,000 Inducements: 0 Player Duamutef(1) CAS: 1 Player Kebechsenef(2) CAS: 1 Player Hapi(3) Injury: Badly Hurt Player Boris Karloff(5) TD: 1 MVP: 1 Takes Skill(s): Tackle Player Grauballe Man(7) CMP: 2 Player Tollund Man(8) CAS: 1 Player Maxilla(12) Injury: Badly Hurt Player Patella(13) Injury: Badly Hurt Player Mandible(14) Injury: Badly Hurt Player Parietal(16) Injury: Badly Hurt Spiraling Expenses: 0 Team Value: 1,710,000 Treasury: 100,000 Fan Factor stayed same at 5 Treasury after purchases is 100,000 New Team Value: 1,710,000 Final Team Treasury: 100,000 ***** The hometown fans were rioting in the stands as the Oath Breakers took on the Storm of Mjolnir tonight at the Field House.  As they often do, the Khemri chefs whipped up a frenzied crowd and taunted the opposition with their succulant tail-gating fare.  The undead came out strong in the first half scoring an early TD after a brilliant pass by the ever accurate Grauballe Man.  “Coach said to try to stay within myself and do my job, I found I can’t do that when I’m worried about what the receiver is going to do.  So now I just pick up the ball and throw it.” The new strategy worked out well as the lengthy pass hit the intended receiver squarly in the back of the head and fell at his feet.  Boris Karloff was able to recover himself enough to pick up the ball and score on the insuing play.  If the game ended then and there the fans might have over run the town hall demanding a new street be named in honor of the team.  As it was the Storm came barrelling back to score three unanswered touch downs and the uproarious fans were left to take out their anger on one another.  Several small altercations caused the game to be stopped however no one apparently told the refs that as they allowed the clock to tick on for most of the remaining first half. In his post game news conference coach Parson said after the game, “The storm beat us tonight by playing to their own strengths.  Some would say they played dirty by piling on and generally ganging up on our guys out there.  I say if that’s how you want to play you better be ready the next time we meet.  I’m not saying anything those fans out there aren’t thinking but the Storm probably shouldn’t go walking on our graves just yet.  You never know what undead spirit might just be lying in wait the next time they do.” However, all that may just have been more rhetoric and banter for the press though as multiple witnesses claim to have seen both coachs leaving the Field house amicably in company together.  In other news, Brett “Bone Saw” Jones was arrested today on charges of fraud after he attempted to pass himself off as an apothacary.  His own mother, a Blood Bowl fan for more than thirty years, was bragging about her son’s exploits at a local dining establishment after the game when visiting members of the Physicians council, in town for an insurance conference no less, overheard her tale and started looking into the matter.  If convicted “Bonesaw” will have plenty of time to sharpen his skills before he ever steps foot in another blood bowl locker room again.

Date	Opponent	Score	Casualties	Fans	Season	Confirmed
01-03-2010	Grumpy Miners	1 - 1	1 - 1	26,000	Season 5	Yes
Winnings: 40,000 Inducements: 0 Player Imsety(4) CAS: 1 Player Boris Karloff(5) TD: 1 Player Scapula(11) MVP: 1 Takes Skill(s): Block Player Maxilla(12) Injury: Badly Hurt Spiraling Expenses: 0 Team Value: 1,690,000 Treasury: 40,000 Fan Factor stayed same at 5 Treasury after purchases is 40,000 New Team Value: 1,690,000 Final Team Treasury: 40,000 ***** A well played game that stayed on time.

Date	Opponent	Score	Casualties	Fans	Season	Confirmed
11-21-2009	Da Silverbackz	1 - 2	0 - 4	21,000	Season 5	Yes
Winnings: 70,000 Inducements: 0 Player Lon Chaney(6) TD: 1 Player Grauballe Man(7) CMP: 1 Player Phalanx(9) Injury: Badly Hurt Player Lumbar(10) Injury: Badly Hurt Player Scapula(11) Injury: Badly Hurt Player Maxilla(12) Injury: Badly Hurt Player Mandible(14) MVP: 1 Spiraling Expenses: 0 Team Value: 1,570,000 Treasury: 200,000 Fan Factor stayed same at 5 Purchased 1 rerolls for 140,000 Hired Temporal(15) in position Skeleton for 30,000 Hired Parietal(16) in position Skeleton for 30,000 Treasury after purchases is 0 New Team Value: 1,700,000 Final Team Treasury: 0 ***** It was another hard fought loss on the grid iron tonight for the Khemri Oath Breakers.  Coach Parson opined that he values playing the game the way it was meant to be played.  “I still believe what Herm edwards once said, ‘You play to win the game! You don’t play it to just play it.’ I don’t care if we don’t have any wins all year we will still be out there on the grid iron fighting every night for that golden ring of victory because it matters!  It matters to me and it sure as heck matters to those 14 tortured souls that I keep sending out there on the field each night.  It’s been said that when you can’t die you have to live for something or you go insane and those men out there are killing themselves each night trying to live these fans.  I just wish they could see that.  Tell your readers that in your morning papers, if you write anything about tonight’s game write that these men, oath breakeers though they may be showed a lot of guts going toe to toe with Da Silverbackz tonight.  Though the record looks gloomy they are just men, they die a little more each time they lose and yet they are undead aswell and so they live to win!”

Date	Opponent	Score	Casualties	Fans	Season	Confirmed
08-22-2009	The Sewer Rats	0 - 3	4 - 3	29,000	Season 5	Yes
Winnings: 40,000 Inducements: 0 Player Duamutef(1) CAS: 2 Takes Skill(s): Block Player Kebechsenef(2) Injury: -1 AV Player Lumbar(10) CAS: 2 MVP: 1 Takes Skill(s): Block Player Maxilla(12) Injury: Badly Hurt Player Patella(13) Injury: Badly Hurt Spiraling Expenses: 0 Team Value: 1,570,000 Treasury: 130,000 Fan Factor stayed same at 5 Treasury after purchases is 130,000 New Team Value: 1,570,000 Final Team Treasury: 130,000 ***** Who are the fans that follow these faithless Khemri?  Those stalwart individuals that have stood by this 2-9 team that promised so much, but delivered so little, during season four.  These fans are truly “the Faithful,” to come out in droves to a promised victory celebration night after night only to be denied by the faithlessness of their beloved. The Sewer Rats went the distance in the first season five matchup between the Skaven and Khemri.  With perfect weather in the skies the Rats got out to an early lead when Claton ran the field on the first play of the game.  “The undead where still pulling themselves out of the grave and never saw it coming.” Truly that was all the scoring the gutter runners where going to need though they did manage to add insult to injury and stood claw to bone throughout the match. The Khemri missed a chance to return the favor and tie things up in the first half when Scapula slipped in a pile of sewage deep in Skaven territory turning over the ball which crazy Ivan promptly tossed back down field for their second goal of the night.  Each of the linebackers took devistating hits from the Rat Ogre Big Boy throughout the game.  Kebechsenef took a couple of hard hits and even required the services of the team Igor during the first half.  Many thought the winds of destiny had turned at last when, in the second half, the the mummies finally started getting their line rolling.  “Just like we practiced boys, that’s what I told ‘em.” acknowledged newly assigned offensive coordinator Carpus Deium.  Carpus was a member of the original bad boys squad that first broke oath during season four.  However, after receiving a niggling injury in only the third game of the season Carpus spent the remainder of the year on the bench.  “I learned a lot about dealing with adversities during my extended recovery.  I only want to contribute to the betterment of the team in any way that I can.  When the genral manager came up with this solution I was pretty leary at first, after all what does I know about scoring pointers?  But then it hit me like a mummies block during the off-season that I was unlikely to be a contributing factor this season anyway so I was like yeah I’ll do it.” But the Rats saved their hardest hit of the game for last.  With five rats off the pitch and the clock ticking down mid-way thru the second half the Khemri were still looking to get on the board deep in Skaven territory.  Tollund The Man showed nerves of steel as he took the ball into the red zone before he slipped and fell in the end zone.  When the dust settled, the ball lay on the line and “The Man” was out cold. Yarrick the shifty blitzer picked it up tossing a long bomb to Big Boy who plowed thru to the Khemri redzone moving the ball the entire length of the pitch in a single possession.  With little time on the clock and after a quick huddle the OB pulled out all the stops and even a few banana peels to catch the Rat Ogre and knock him down.  Fortune favored Grauballe Man, but even recovering the ball was not enough as it only seemed to make the ogre mad.  “When that Big Rat jumped up and ran at Gravel I couldn’t bear to look, but neither could I look away either.  I wanted to get out their and help but I had seen that look before and I knew Gravel was in trouble.” stated Skeleton Patella as he recovered from hard hit earlier in the game.  Following the hit, Big Boy showed the undead what life was like as he skipped over the line and slammed the ball nose down into the endzone.  Big Boy was so fired up that even after putting the game out of reach he was still in a frenzy for the final play of the game hitting Kebechsenef in the back and severely injuring the faithless warrier. After the game coach Parson let several mostly vailed threats hang in the air during the post game news conference.  “I don’t care what the refs had to say about the legitamacy of that hit.  Where were the refs anyway?  It was a dirty play in my book.  This team of undead Khemri isn’t going anywhere and we have a long memory.  Up three to nothing to hit a guy in the back like that.  The Big Rat better watch where he’s walking because you just don’t walk on a man’s grave as it were.”

Date	Opponent	Score	Casualties	Fans	Season	Confirmed
07-23-2009	Chicken & Chumplin's	0 - 2	3 - 0	19,000	Season 5	Yes
Winnings: 40,000 Inducements: 0 Player Duamutef(1) CAS: 1 Player Kebechsenef(2) CAS: 1 Takes Skill(s): Guard Player Imsety(4) CAS: 1 Takes Skill(s): Guard Player Boris Karloff(5) MVP: 1 Player Grauballe Man(7) CMP: 1 Spiraling Expenses: 0 Team Value: 1,510,000 Treasury: 120,000 Fan Factor stayed same at 5 Hired Lumbar(10) in position Skeleton for 30,000 Treasury after purchases is 90,000 Retired Carpus(10) to coaching staff New Team Value: 1,500,000 Final Team Treasury: 90,000

Date	Opponent	Score	Casualties	Fans	Season	Confirmed
07-10-2009	Steeltown Renegades	1 - 4	2 - 1	26,000	Chaos Cup 2009	Yes
Winnings: 20,000 Inducements: 10,000 Player Hapi(3) CAS: 2 Player Boris Karloff(5) TD: 1 Takes Skill(s): Guard Injury: Badly Hurt Player Scapula(11) MVP: 1 Spiraling Expenses: 0 Team Value: 1,470,000 Treasury: 80,000 Fan Factor stayed same at 5 Treasury after purchases is 80,000 New Team Value: 1,470,000 Final Team Treasury: 80,000 ***** An ominous cloud roled in the cool morning air as the jet black bus pulled up to the stadium.  Four warn and balding tires ground haltingly not unlike a hurse sidling up to the mortuary door in anticipation of the grim task at hand.  Thousands were on hand once more to bear witness to the arrival of the Khemri team of Oath Breakers to the summer tournament of champions, which is the Chaos Cup.  The hearts and minds of thousand of onlookers were pulsing with anticipation as “The Flight of the Bumblebee” peeled forth to announce the Dead Man’s Party.  A mighty roar went up to greet them as coach Parson was seen leading his team proudly down the hallowed halls, a stalwart and unmoving figure in the sea of undead as they scrambled over one another to find once more the glorious pitch of battle. Perinnial all-stars O-gie Oglethorpe and Carl “BOA” Dobler led the hometeam Renegades in an early morning run to work out the pre-game jitters while the sons of Horus worshiped at the pocelain alter in anticipation.  This match was truly to be a David v. Goliath for the ages.  League officials laid down the ground rules with the Khemri receiving 90% of their team value in inducements to even up the match “a bit.” Surly no other match in this year’s tournament will be more one sided - even in the face of so many premier teams. As the kickoff insued and the frenzy began in full, many looked around for the gods of Chaos who were said to have purchased tickets for the event.  The gods could not take credit for the presence of a telepath whom many believe the OB must have bribed to obtain her cooperation. While her mental scream temporarily stuned the Renegades into inactivity during the first drive of the game, Boris Karloff was able to take advantage of the moment and scored an early TD.  One can only surmize that if they didn’t just call their visit off because of the poor economy (and you think it’s hard to raise a family now a days, try supporting a family of gods and goddesses that really are used to having it all!) that the G-o-C were surely held captive in the legendary traffic that is Veteran’s Parkway.  However, Someone must have made it eventually.  Nothing else can properly explain how a sudden blizzard interupted the crisp July morning during the seventh period of the first half.  This unusually chaotic weather played a major role in the outcome of the game as it hindered passes and unsettled footing however it was not the only sign of the chaos on the pitch.  During half-time a possible wardrobe malfunction is credited with starting a riot in the stands which spilled over onto the fields.  In and of itself this is not all that unusual during a blood bowl match, however the official’s flat refusal to reset the clock even with both teams offering bribes to do so was rather exemplary.  And then during the final minutes of the game the ball carrier fell just inches short of the goal line in a patch of snow that crews had failed to completely clear.  One would expect that - to decide the game, however in a stunning flash of chaotic genious the team carrying the ball was down by three and the goal would have absolutely no bearing on the game either way.  Efforts to confirm the presence of the G o C were inconclusive and often contradictory which lends further credability to the belief of many that they took a very active hand in the outcome of the game.  Ironically, if they did in fact take action it only served to ensure the status quo, the expected and often anticipated victory of the heavily favored Renegades. After the game Coach Parson stated during the postgame news conference; “The gods give and the gods surely take away.  We had a lot taken away from us today, as did the family of “Big” Grimm.  Hapi and our entire team would like to offer our sincere condolences to his family and friends.  Seth died doing what he loved and I am sure his memory will persevere in the annals of Steeltown.  But either way, this team will remember his contribution to the game and that of all those who have gone before.  They will persevere and find new life in those of us who remember them and our experiences of them.  What else is there for those whom the gods have snatched away from deaths cool clutches once again?  All we really need to navigate in either life or undeath is our experience.  In the end, that’s all any of us will ever really have.  This has been a fine young team, we all learned a lot.  I was proud to captain us thru the shoals of our first season and look forward to smoother sailing ahead.  Thank you!” As the lights went out on a four to one scoreboard and a two and seven season, few remained to note how it really mattered to anyone.  Few except those undead who were cursed to go on, to re-live this aweful season in the tape room of their rememberances over and over in the hope that they might regain their honor and improve their position for next year.  Clearly, season four is over for the Oath Breakers but season five is just before them.

Date	Opponent	Score	Casualties	Fans	Season	Confirmed
06-28-2009	Killa Khanz	0 - 4	0 - 2	21,000	Chaos Cup 2009	Yes
Winnings: 60,000 Inducements: 0 Player Kebechsenef(2) CAS: 1 Injury: Badly Hurt Player Lon Chaney(6) MVP: 1 Takes Skill(s): +1 AG Player Maxilla(12) Injury: Niggler Spiraling Expenses: 0 Team Value: 1,420,000 Treasury: 70,000 Fan Factor stayed same at 5 Treasury after purchases is 70,000 New Team Value: 1,420,000 Final Team Treasury: 70,000 ***** Playing a larger roll for the OB today, the baboon-headed mummy, Hapi, was an absolute Iron Man on the field.  He ran both on offense and defense throughout the entire game, refusing to be lifted for injuries that might have put a lesser creature on the bench.  This son of Horus stated after the game, “I really wanted to make an impression out there today to honor the great goddess, Nephthys. The protective goddess is known as a ferocious and dangerous divinity, capable of incinerating her enemies with her fiery breath and I would do no less in her name.” Speaking on a condition of anonymity, a member of the clubhouse said, “Actually, I think someone forgot to brush his teeth.” Whether or not his oral hygiene had anything to do with his performance on the pitch remains unconfirmed at this time.  In an unbalaned loss to the Killa Khanz no one would have blamed him for taking a brief respet.  Benching after a particularly hard knock out hit is a common practice throughout the league and is credited to help bowlers to regroup and survive to play another game.  However, coach Parson put it best during post game comments, “You try telling a 400lb mummy that he needs to take it down a notch!  Good luck!  If he truly has his mind set like Hapi did tonight then I’ll see you in the afterlife.” Unfortunately, stamina wasn’t enough against the Black Orcs Killers out there tonight as the OB suffered yet another shutout 4-0.  Skeleton lineman Maxilla got tied up early in the second half receiving a niggling injury to the knee which will definately hold him out of action for the next game and may herald the end of his short career.  The general manager stated during the post game news conference tonight that, “No, no decision has yet been made with regard to Maxilla’s availability beyond our next game.  Our team Dr’s assure us that he can still have a long and lusterous career.” In other news, skeleton lineman Mandible, played well in his first game since joining the team.

Date	Opponent	Score	Casualties	Fans	Season	Confirmed
06-26-2009	Chumpster's Chumps	0 - 3	3 - 2	24,000	Season 4	Yes
Winnings: 50,000 Inducements: 0 Player Duamutef(1) INT: 1 Player Kebechsenef(2) CAS: 1 Player Hapi(3) CAS: 1 Takes Skill(s): Break Tackle Player Imsety(4) MVP: 1 Player Boris Karloff(5) CAS: 1 Player Phalanx(9) Injury: Badly Hurt Player Maxilla(12) Injury: Badly Hurt Spiraling Expenses: 0 Team Value: 1,300,000 Treasury: 180,000 Fan Factor went up to 5 Purchased 1 rerolls for 140,000 Hired Mandible(14) in position Skeleton for 30,000 Treasury after purchases is 10,000 New Team Value: 1,400,000 Final Team Treasury: 10,000 ***** It was a monumental clash between David and Goliath once again at the Field House tonight.  The upstart Oath Breakers from Khemri were the featured challenger under a waxing crescent moon.  It was 85 degrees with perfect bloodbowl weather at kickoff with a gentle breeze blowing in from the northwest. Winning the coin toss the OB opted to receive in the first half but were unable to stave off those leaping lizards.  It was starting to look like another dirty fight when #2 Kebechsnef and Son of Short Sheet got into a pushing match that resulted in a badly hurt.  Fans of these two teams will recall that bad blood was spilled when, during their first matchup this year, Duamutef “accidentally” killed Sam Shirt Sheet Swan Senior during a swealtering heat. “We were ready for anything going into the second half,” stated tonight’s MVP Imsety, “that is except the Blitz they put on us.” Before the fans had returned to their seats the Chumps had a 2-0 lead and looked hungry for more. Boris Karloff and Happi both got into the action with a couple of late hits and Mummy Duamutef intercepted the ball but to no avail as it was all too little too late.  In the end they didn’t even finish the game as a riot broke out at the beginning of the seventh period and the referees saw fit to let the clock roll out saving the Khemri any further embarressment on the night. As the bus pulled away tonight the only comments to be heard from a dejected team of Khemri were in honor of the late Michael Jackson.  One team member stated, “I really never got into his music while I lived, but now that I’ve joined the undead team it kind of grows on you.” “You hear the door slam and realize there’s nowhere left to run You feel the cold hand and wonder if you’ll ever see the sun You close your eyes and hope that this is just imagination, girl! But all the while you hear the creature creeping up behind You’re out of time ’Cause this is thriller, thriller night There ain’t no second chance against the thing with forty eyes, girl Thriller, thriller night You’re fighting for your life inside a killer, thriller tonight Night creatures calling, the dead start to walk in their masquerade There’s no escaping the jaws of the alien this time (They’re open wide) This is the end of your life”

Date	Opponent	Score	Casualties	Fans	Season	Confirmed
06-13-2009	Sisters of Nuffle	0 - 4	1 - 4	18,000	Season 4	Yes
Winnings: 50,000 Inducements: 0 Player Hapi(3) CAS: 1 Player Grauballe Man(7) CMP: 1 Injury: Badly Hurt Player Scapula(11) MVP: 1 Takes Skill(s): Sure Hands Spiraling Expenses: 0 Team Value: 1,280,000 Treasury: 130,000 Fan Factor stayed same at 4 Treasury after purchases is 130,000 New Team Value: 1,280,000 Final Team Treasury: 130,000 ***** In a lopsided defeat tonight, the Khemri were humiliated at every TURN tonight.  Outscored four to nothing on the pitch, with three fewer casualties inflicted than their opponents.  Coach Parson stated, “no amount of brilliant coaching could overcome the great god of dices which screwed up our dice and made us roll as bad as possible for countless numbers of turns.” When asked about the events of tonight’s game, another anonymous member of the OB coaching staff also replied that, “Of course we are doing everything we can to figure this one out.  We will all be looking at film this week in order to analyse exactly what went wrong.” When querried about the demonstration after the event, a group of fans outside the stadium stated, “The Sister clerics of Nuffle were obviously granted some higher power over the undead tonight.  How fair was that?  Over eighteen-thousand of us didn’t come here to watch a crusade.  We want to see a bloody football game.” Another inebriated fan asked if any members of the sisters were currently seeing someone and if they were free to please call 555-####.  Finally, despite the number of women present on the pitch, there was only one woman available for interview on the streets outside the stadium immediately following the game.  This bloodbowl fan, identified only as Marge stated: “On this very night, ten years ago, on this same stretch of road, in a dense fog, just like this, I saw the worst accident I ever seen.  There was this sound, like a garbage truck, dropped off the empire state building.  And when they finally pulled the drivers body, from the twistted, burning wreck, it looked like, this...” I couldn’t put it any better than that, this game was absolutely the worst accident I ever seen as well.

Date	Opponent	Score	Casualties	Fans	Season	Confirmed
06-04-2009	The Weepin' Wompers	2 - 0	4 - 0	20,000	Season 4	Yes
Winnings: 70,000 Inducements: 0 Player Hapi(3) CAS: 1 Player Imsety(4) CAS: 2 Takes Skill(s): Stand Firm Player Boris Karloff(5) CAS: 1 Player Grauballe Man(7) TD: 1 MVP: 1 Takes Skill(s): Kick Player Tollund Man(8) TD: 1 Spiraling Expenses: 0 Team Value: 1,250,000 Treasury: 80,000 Fan Factor went up to 4 Treasury after purchases is 80,000 New Team Value: 1,250,000 Final Team Treasury: 80,000 ***** The Wompers were left weepin in the aisle once again when the speedy wood elves were out run by the Oath Breakers of Khemri.  The undead survived a shaky first half that saw the two Thro-Ras looking confused and out of position several times.  During post-game comments coach Parson stated, “The G Man really hung in their tonight despite mixed signals from the bench.  I take full responcibility for that and commend Grauballe for coming up with his team leading second MVP.  I also want to commend the Mummy corps for a strong night of hard hitting.  Thanks too to Just Joe for a cleanly played game.”

Date	Opponent	Score	Casualties	Fans	Season	Confirmed
05-13-2009	Screamin Serafems	1 - 2	0 - 0	21,000	Season 4	Yes
Winnings: 40,000 Inducements: 0 Player Grauballe Man(7) TD: 1 Takes Skill(s): Accurate Player Tollund Man(8) CMP: 2 Player Scapula(11) MVP: 1 Spiraling Expenses: 0 Team Value: 1,100,000 Treasury: 120,000 Fan Factor stayed same at 3 Hired Hapi(3) in position Mummy for 110,000 Treasury after purchases is 10,000 New Team Value: 1,210,000 Final Team Treasury: 10,000 ***** On the pitch tonight it was a shoving match between the Screamin Serafem and the Oath Breakers.  These Amazon Women may as well have been playing “on the moon,” with as little damage as either team could muster against the other.  “No matter how hard we hit them, they just fell away without getting hurt.” said team leader and captain Duamutef.  Duamutef was seen trying out several new moves on the accoustically challenged host of heaven.  Unfortunately the more seasoned Seraph team looked poised and ready every turn.  At one point Shela was seen leaping nearly 20 feet through the air.  I’ve never seen anything like that.  Never! On the bench, Carpus was heard to say, “I heard a bell ringing!  I heard it.  No one can tell me otherwise.  Just as she leapt throught the air.  You know what they say… Every time a bell rings another angel gets her wings.  Well I think tonight that Shela got her wings.  Oh, Oh Shela...” Apparently Carpus has not yet fully recovered from his injury.  Team Dr’s now belive that he may also have an accucte case of “loose screws.” After the game the coach was seen to have a heart attack.  That’s a Peanut-butter and bacon sandwhich on buttered toast to the living.  But heart disease matters little among the undead, who’s insatiable lust drives the curse that binds them.  As I follow this team I am amazed at how they all remain so driven.  Tonight they were neither able to slake their lust for calories nor their lust for victory.  I couldn’t tell you who said what but I overheard several disquieting comments after this game.  “We are cursed men… The moonlight shows us for what we really are.  We are not among the living, so we can not die, but neither are we dead.  For too long I’ve been parched with a thirst and unable to quinch it.  For too long I’ve been starving to death and haven’t died.  I feel nothing.  Not the wind on my face, nor the spray of the sea, nor the warmth of a woman’s flesh.  You best start believing in ghost stories… cause your in one!” Well as everyone knows any good story needs an engaging beginning, a solid middle and a conclusion that leaves one lusting for more.  The general manager addressed reporters during the post game news conference tonight stating, “Now that we have a few games under our belts I see a solid team that is really coming together.  We are thrilled to announce tonight the signing of yet another son of Horus from the conopic jar league.  Hapi comes to us from the North and will protect all our lungs from any future outbursts of dissaproval.” With the new addition the team roster stands at thirteen, an auspicious number among the undead.  Certainly this team is one to watch.

Date	Opponent	Score	Casualties	Fans	Season	Confirmed
05-08-2009	Chumpster's Chumps	0 - 1	3 - 2	26,000	Season 4	Yes
Winnings: 20,000 Inducements: 0 Player Duamutef(1) CAS: 3 Takes Skill(s): Multiple Block Player Imsety(4) MVP: 1 Player Tollund Man(8) CMP: 2 Takes Skill(s): Nerves of Steel Player Carpus(10) Injury: -1 ST Spiraling Expenses: 0 Team Value: 1,050,000 Treasury: 80,000 Fan Factor stayed same at 3 Treasury after purchases is 80,000 New Team Value: 1,050,000 Final Team Treasury: 80,000*** Casualities Against changed from 1 to 2 ***** The mood on the busride home was sobbering after yet another loss by the Oath Breakers tonight.  The Chumpsters left the Khemri team feeling like Chumps after scoring an early goal and holding off a concerted effort by the deadman’s party.  The only song to be heard as the bus pulled away tonight was a solemn round of Kumbya in honor of the fallen. Tears were shed in Chump Town under the full moon tonight after the untimely death of Sam “The Short Sheeter” Swan fell in the second half to a mighty blow from Mummy and Left Tackle Duamutef.  Duamutef had a very good night as he also was seen taking down both Cliff “Cup Check” Clapp and Wally “Wet Willy” Wanker during the first half.  Duamutef’s own mother was seen leaving the game early in protest because the skinks kept running away.  “It ain’t natural, those skinky lizards oughta just stand there and take what they got comin’ to ‘em.  My boy worked hard to get where he is now and they oughta recognise that and take their meds like that there Clapp Checker Fellow.” Unfortunately she did not see the hit those “skinky lizards” put on Carpus late in the second half as they gave him a dose of his own medicine. A team official reports that Skeleton Linebacker Carpus did in fact fail his regeneration roll and is suffering from the full affects of a broken collar bone.  This same official, speaking on a condition of anonymity, told reporters that “pergutory would look pretty sweet before [Carpus] sees the starting lineup again.” When questioned later the team’s general manager also reported that there are no immediate plans to release any players from their contracts; which would seem to indicate that this is one skeleton that will actually see eternity from the bench. In other news, Coach Parson spoke to reporters briefly after the game.  “I was very proud of those men out their tonight.  They left it all out on the field of battle and we have no regrets.  Sure we wanted to win, that’s why we play the game.  But winning isn’t everything.  Look at the experience this young team gained tonight.  We have three outstanding players that were recognised tonight.  Don’t worry about the wins and losses at this early stage in the season, those will come soon enough.”

Date	Opponent	Score	Casualties	Fans	Season	Confirmed
05-03-2009	Grumpy Rage	2 - 0	1 - 2	29,000	Season 4	Yes
Winnings: 30,000 Inducements: 0 Player Kebechsenef(2) CMP: 1 Player Lon Chaney(6) TD: 1 Player Grauballe Man(7) MVP: 1 Injury: Badly Hurt Player Tollund Man(8) TD: 1 Spiraling Expenses: 0 Team Value: 1,030,000 Treasury: 60,000 Fan Factor went up to 3 Treasury after purchases is 60,000 New Team Value: 1,030,000 Final Team Treasury: 60,000 ***** The team bus was very roudy after gaining our first win in an eight hour marathon event.  Once again great cooking by our chef left the Rage grumpier than usual.  Fortune was with us throughout the game as Kili was knocked out before the first play of the game and some brilliant coaching was rewarded in the second half.  The first half was marked primarily by hard nosed grinding play preventing the dwarves from moving the ball. Both teams had their share of mistakes and missed opportunities in the second half.  The GR also had difficulty getting their slayers back on the field after first half knock outs.  Thanks to turnovers by both teams, Tollund Man picked up a loose ball deep in our territory and scored our first point of the season.  We followed this up with a high onside kick, Maxilla crashed the cage to knock the ball loose and Lon Chaney brought it home to put the game away. Thanks Brian for a great game, well played.

Date	Opponent	Score	Casualties	Fans	Season	Confirmed
04-25-2009	Da Silverbackz	0 - 1	1 - 0	20,000	Season 4	Yes
Winnings: 60,000 Inducements: 0 Player Duamutef(1) MVP: 1 Player Tollund Man(8) CMP: 1 Player Maxilla(12) CAS: 1 Spiraling Expenses: 0 Team Value: 770,000 Treasury: 60,000 Fan Factor stayed same at 0 Hired Patella(13) in position Skeleton for 30,000 Treasury after purchases is 30,000 New Team Value: 800,000 Final Team Treasury: 30,000

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